sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You are a genius and a whore.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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