He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
