I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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