i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
