I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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