just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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