Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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