An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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