Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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