are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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