I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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