Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i've created a new STD.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
