the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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