I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
