The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
