We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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