Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She even gives head with a lisp.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
