that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
