No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize