i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
