just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
