Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize