Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
