There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize