so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
