I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
