I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
