how can u be prego again
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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