help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
