he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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