I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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