ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Please, let me fuck your mom
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
