You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You took a bar mat shot.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
