We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
