just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
