NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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