My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
