I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
