I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
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I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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