none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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