Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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