No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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