Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
