Im at strip club and am horny
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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