But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
