We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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