I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
