your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
