I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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