You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
