do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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