She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
