we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
