I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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