Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
