Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
