her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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