ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
