Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
