Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i think my cat just said my name.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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