Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
