Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
