thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
