so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
